Of Frogs and Reptiles
by Torotyrannus15
Summary: During a delivery to Ergitaris 3, the crew decide to investigate the feud between the tribal frog and civilized reptile cultures, and unintentionally spark a planet-wide war! Will they be able to restore order on the planet? Read & review to find out!


**Greetings, fanficers! This fic is an important milestone for me; this is TFFBMEWSF, which stands for Third Futurama Fanfiction By Me Ever Written So Far, and my fourth fic all together. In this one, the crew makes a trip to a planet with two VERY different societies, and manage to spark a war! Please read and reveiw; speaking of which, I am going to bet $9,000.X that TheAnnoyingAlien will be the first to reveiw. Anywhats, enjoyes.**

* * *

Today was a sunny day in the "grand" city of New New York, and at this time, the Planet Express Delivery Service rocket ship was returning from yet another "successful" delivery to some random planet. The ship landed in it's hangar, and out came Turanga Leela, the ship's captain. Following were Phillip Fry and Bender the robot, who, at this time, were debating over what they would watch on TV that night; the season finale of All My Circuits or the premere of Hypnotoad: The Movie. Leela, of course scoffed at the bickering man and machine.

"Will you two cut it out?" She said. Fry and Bender did not seem to listen.

"But I wanna watch the season finale of All My Circuits tonight! I finally get to find out who kidnapped Calculon's grandmother!" Bender yelled back at the cyclops.

"No fair! The premere of Hypnotoad: The Movie is on tonight! And if I don't watch it when it's on, the whole star system will have seen it before me!" Fry retorted.

"Oh lord." Leela sighed in frustrasion. "How about this: one of you watches one show in your apartment, and the other watches the other thing somewhere else. Alright?" That seemed to do the trick. Almost immediatly the two stopped arguing and thaught about Leela's proposition.

"Hey, that could actually work! Everyone can watch what they want to!" Fry said in excitment.

"Yeah! It's perfect! We finally agree, old friend. Sorry I ever doubted you." Bender said as he and Fry shook hands. Leela just rolled her eye.

"You aren't watching anything yet!" The Professor yelled from the conference table. "Get your lollygagging asses over here!" The trio groaned and went over to where the other employees of the buisness were sitting, as well as the Professor.

"Alright Professor, what is it now?" Leela asked dejectedly as she sat in her chair next to Bender.

"Well, now that you three are here, I have good news, everyone." The Professer exclaimed from his chair. "You will be making a second delivery today to Ergitaris 3, the planet of the Frogs and Reptiles."

"What?! Two deliveries in one day?! Unbelivable!" Shouted Bender.

"Yeah! Today's delivery almost torched my lucky pants off!" Yelled an angered Fry.

"I'm sorry, but this delivery could be extremely important to our buisness." Prof. Farnseworth said. "The Ergitarisans are known to be very choosy, and we cannot afford to let them down."

"It's fine with me Professer. What are going to deliver anyway?" Leela asked.

"Oh, that." The Prof. replied. "You will be delivering two different packages, actually. Scruffy!" Scruffy, the janitor then entered the room, driving a forklift which held two very large wooden crates, each one as tall as Farnseworth himself. Scruffy then lowered the crates to the ground and stepped out of the vehicle. The Professor continued.

"Anyway, you will be delivering one crate to the Reptiles, and the other one goes to the Frogs. Don't mess it up."

"What's in the crates, Professer?" Amy non-chalantly asked.

"If you must know, the crate for the Reptiles is filled with assorted fancy teas and wines, as well as a few powdered wigs and other sophisticated trinkets, and the one for the Frogs contains Buggalo meat and several dozen jars of the, 'sacred black ooze' known around here as common swamp oil. If we get this delivery right, they may give us a huge ammount of money so that we won't go out of buisness, again. Anyway, all of you will be going, including myself."

"Seriously Professor? Aren't these kinds of things largely life-threatening?" Hermes groaned.

"Yes, and we're all going because we want to make a good first impression on this planet so that they will think good of us. There is no way out of this, so don't even think about trying." The Prof. retorted. Everyone sighed. "Scruffy, would you mind placing those boxes in the ship's cargo hold?" Farnseworth politely asked. Scruffy nodded and wheeled the crates over to the ship and placed them inside without a word. Again the Prof. spoke.

"Alright, everybody! Let's get in the ship shall we? Leela, you drive."

"I always drive Professer." Leela said as she rolled her eye. Everyone then climbed aboared the ship in a line.

"Can Zoidberg sit in the front?" Dr. Zoidberg asked.

"No you cannot, you dumb medical trilobite!" Insulted the Professer. Zoidberg sighed and followed the others up the ship's gangplank and into the cockpit. Leela was in the captain's chair, pressing buttons and setting coordinates.

"C'mon! Let's blow this popcicle stand!" Fry said in excitment.

"Yeah! Let's go already!" Bender shouted.

"Okay, okay. Stop screaming." Leela said as she pulled back a lever, and the ship then floated into the air and blasted off. As they left Earth's atmosphere, Prof. Farnseworth explained what Ergitaris 3 was like.

"Now you see, everyone," He began. "Ergitaris 3 is, as I said, home to a very large population of Frogs and Reptiles, and each has a separate society. The Frogs own the entire western hemisphere, and the Reptiles own the eastern hemisphere. The Frogs live in a tribal society, with bows & arrows and spiritual beliefs and whatnot, and the Reptiles all live in a civilized society, pretty much the same as Victorian London, but with lizards."

"So that's why the Reptiles requested all that fancy stuff." Amy added.

"Correct. Now you see, everyone, the Reptiles and the Frogs are devided, each believing the other to be inferior. Therefore we must be cautious when speaking to the leaders of each society, so as not to mention the other group and unintentionally anger them." Everyone agreed to that. "Now, it will take a while to get to Ergitaris 3, so for the time being, you can all do whatever you want to, except if you intent to steal anything." Bender groaned angrily when the Professer said this. After that, the crew went on with their personal buisness; Amy started painting her toenails, Hermes went to organize file cabinets, and Bender took out a pack of cigars from his chest cabinet and started smoking them all at once, also looking at a porno magazine while puffing. The professer left the bridge to "do a little science". And that's pretty much how it went for the next 2-or so hours.

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After a time, the Planet Express ship zoomed into the Ergitaris system, and the green and brownish planet of Ergitaris 3 came into view.

"Good news, everyone! We're here!" The Professer excitedly exclaimed from the bridge. Everyone looked up in awe at the sight of the large planetoid, which was roughly triple Earth's size. However, the crew got quite a surprise when they saw the very large starship orbiting the planet. With a shock, they recognized it as DOOP's commanding flagship, The Nimbus. Farnseworth spoke up.

"Oh, that's right I forgot! Earlier today I recieved a transmition from DOOP that they woud be sending the Nimbus on a patroll around the Ergitaris star system at around this time today, and that we'll need to get clearence from the captain in order to land. My mistake." Everyone gave him an angry stare, especially Leela, for we all know why SHE hated the sight of the Nimbus. A voice suddenly crackled on the radio; I think we all know who it was.

"Attention, smaller spacecraft. This is captain Zapp Brannigan, leutenent of DOOP and captain of the Nimbus. State your buisness in the Ergitaris system at once." Leela groaned.

"You know who we are, Zapp. Just let us through." She begrudgingly stated.

"Ah, Leela so good of you to arrive at this time. How's about you and I have a drink of Champagne and mosey on over to my private bed chamber?" Capt. Brannigan answered in a smooth, seductive tone.

"Fat chance, Brannigan. Keep trying." Leela mockingly responded. Zapp brushed it off like he does all issues.

"Let them pass, Kif." Zapp said to his leutenant. "My sweet one-eyed godess will come around eventually."

"Yes, sir." Kif said.

Back on the Planet Express ship, Leela switched on the ignition and the ship rocketed past the Nimbus and down towards the planet below. Fry was busy looking out the window at the rapidly approaching surface.

"Hey Professer, how come the Frogs and Reptiles hate eachother?" He asked.

"Nobody knows for sure, but most think that it was caused by some kind of past confrontatrion of some sort. But nothing to worry about now." Farnseworth answered him. They soon lighted down on the surface of Ergitaris 3. When the landing gear was completely down, the crewmembers stepped out into the fresh air. the place where they landed was a wide open prairie with little vegetation other than the small shrubs and clumps of grass littered throughout the landscape. They looked around, but didn't see much. Scruffy then came out of the cargo hold bringing one of the large crates with him. The Prof. spoke up.

"Alright everybody, first we'll bring this crate to the Reptiles because they're closer, and then head over to Frog territory to deliver the second one."

"Where are the Reptiles?" Leela asked. "I expected to see scaly things everywhere."

"Mabye they all hightailed it when they saw you coming, one-eye!" Bender joked, which earned him the evil eye from Leela. Just then, the crew heard a distant rumbling noise in the distance. They all looked in it's direction, and saw a large dust cloud less than 100 yards away, and closing fast. The dust then cleared, and what the crew saw was astonishing. They were being faced down by two GIGANTIC reptilian creatures riding on the backs of huge iguanas with saddles and harnesses and everything. One of the riders looked like a 15-foot tall gecko with a horn on his snout, and was dressed in a giant version of a Victorian-age British palace guard uniform colored red. His comrade looked like a miniature brontosaurus and was about 5 feet taller than his companion, also wearing a similar uniform, but colored bluish. The two huge lizards looked down at the Planet Express crew, and then the horned lizard spoke.

"Ahh, Planet Express." He said in a classic British accent. "I see you have arrived right on time."


End file.
